{ferina a.}
Born and raised by queens.
Ingredients: sea foam + stardust
Photographer. Ninja assassin.
Alchemist. Writer. Mermaid.

18.1833° N, 120.5833° E ||
04.26.87. Pluviophile.

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Lusuac Spring at Lagayan, Abra with my Valentine.

The lying reflections

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This is my underwear blog entry. 

Febroar: 02/11/14

I have a long list of deadlines and to-do’s that are being piled up. But I’m looking forward to what’s in store for me after everything is done. Slow progress is still progress!

So what’s the hold up? I guess a lot of tinkering inside of my box.. a lot of oiling. A lot of internal workup that is beyond what I do as uhm typical ME… you know, the girl who takes pictures. :3

Surely there are stacks of photo albums and submissions that have been set aside, and I promise they are still in the works but I cannot focus on the entire facade. I want to do everything with all of me, and not just a portion of my attention. So every time I switch into places, I completely disregard one thing until the next time I continue. Say, my studies vs my photography.

Both are unequivocally important. And I could choose to whine or just FOCUS and disregard all the stimuli around me. Sometimes it came down to sacrificing a lot, doing what I don’t normally do just to make one GOAL pursued. 

February should be some sort of a roar. I am in the process… I shouldn’t give up now.

Faith and tangibility

Modesty aside, I believe my relationship with God has always been constantly afloat. Be it a minute zit conundrum or a life-turning issue, problems has always kept me anchored onto my faith. Problems being constant, I often speak to the the man upstairs for help, and most times, to give thanks. I might pray under my breath, I might have it unsaid in my thoughts, or I might record it in my phone, write thousands of drafted prayers… either way God is on my mind, always. I have never felt so close to HIM until now that I am a struggling adult.

So when my sister confronted me with a question, “HOW MANY YEARS HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU WENT TO CHURCH?” What seemed to be a simple question seemed to be rhetorical to me. She must have wanted to say, “Why don’t you go to church?”, but she chose to be unoffensive. I have never brought my kid to church, let alone myself. Someone would readily assume I have turned cold inside and turned my back on the religion I was assigned to. That is the truth, but not entirely. God isn’t found in any four-cornered wall with a human being speaking in his behalf. And that is a very bold opinion, and people are welcome to throw stones at me. 

But people have got to understand… and not judge me. Life taught me to find God within me. It’s in the inner peace I find when I remain true to myself, when I follow the burning passion within me to do things and create things with the talent I was given, it’s in how I remain kind to people in my thoughts and in my actions, to keep the goodness within me to utter only what does not harm and does not hurt, to share without even thinking what the gain would be, to love endlessly, to respect my body and my whole being… I find God when I cry, when I laugh, when I breathe, when I pray on my own. God has always been reachable and convenient and most people do not realize that. People go out every Sunday, dressed up with their family, and god forbid they miss one Sunday, they obsessively hang on to their notion that God will unforgivingly throw them punishments for not attending church. God has always been understanding. And there’s no way that HE IS THAT KIND who imposes irrational rules. I find God in moments I am flooded with wisdom and clarity amidst confusion… and there’s so so much more I wish a lot of people could realize.

In short, I guess I do not want to share a literature of combined views about God with other people and limit myself on imagining the magnitude of his greatness. It only weakens my faith rather than reinforce it. I guess I do not want a human being preaching in behalf of God because I do not want to scale Him down that way. God is so vast that the universe is an understatement. I do not want to put tangibility on my faith. 

Dear Charlie-Charles-Charles, XOXO

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Dear Charlie-charles-charles, 

A couple of encounters with you was no longer than a point zero something of my whole life. But it didn’t really take that much to know that you are someone who is remarkably genuine. You have a very easing demeanor that it seems impossible to not bask in it. You have that bold honesty but comes with it are tact and etiquette that only a true blue gentleman could ever possess. Gentleman, because I am a lady and I perceive you as one. ;-)

We might not ever share that planned coffee date anymore, or we may… and maybe repeat it a hundred times over our humanely short lifetime that it will become sickening to do it way too much but… point is, I am glad our paths intertwined. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thanks to your sister’s engagement shoot, and to the job I was offered to do side by side with you. Have I said “NO”, then none of this would have happened— not our vanity shots, not our kite-flying moments, not our endless talks on society’s ethics… not even our hilarious moments with Audrey and the legendary chauffeur who we mercilessly called “BJ” and “bukol” over and over.

Let this be a simple memoir of our times shared.

Your brand new friend,

Ferina

xoxo

PS- Be a law-abiding law student. I might need you in the future! And if I will, please try your hardest to keep me from prison. 

Triple Hotcakes for Vanilla’s Day

the many firsts

We both know we’ve gone too far in life to rightfully claim that we have the many firsts in relationships with each other. That is very far from being possible. But it’s not impossible if we try to see it in a different light. I see so many firsts as I peek through a kaleidoscope of different possibilities… If you think of it I have had so many firsts with you. :3

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It’s my first time to drink my favorite Starbucks Green Tea Latte with someone I adore while watching boat-rowers and chatting endlessly.

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My first korean pig-out with a guy who basically doesn’t know 97% of the menu. Hahaha. We had the tummies of a hungry mob and we picked out the most uniquely appetizing resto along Session Road that could fill us up in an instant.

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My first date at a street food joint and a night-to-dawn market of ukay-ukays. I give my salute to this guy who doesn’t care if I thrift shop or splurge from labels, online shops to ukay-ukays. All he really cares about is what makes me happy. :) Hihi.

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First time to go on a late-night drinking spree with a guy. And I could be sure I am protected and safe even if I pass out. LOL.

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The first guy to ever overuse the peace sign in every photo. NEVER FAILS! Hahahaha. 

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Our first nature-tripping date— enjoying pine trees and high-altitude air, eating fresh fruits, smelling horse poop, and appreciating real poinsettias. 

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First lunch date at a hill side while overlooking the horses at Wright Park. It was a hearty lunch with plenty of stories and future travels to talk about. ;-) 

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First time to get caught in a lush botanical garden with an opposite sex without hearing any complaints against floral madness! He actually appreciated the plants and even snagged some for his home. Quite unlikely but I think it’s a good thing. ;-)

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For all the many other firsts! Cheers, min kjœrlighet!

Sweater Weather

I overheard a few people at home saying they have been unusually sleepy yesterday. I felt the same way actually. I was  extremely sluggish and unproductive that I totally couldn’t work on my laptop without falling asleep. If it’s not my coffee withdrawal, it’s probably because we are on HIBERNATE mode. Although it’s not winter per se here in the country, I believe that it’s our body’s instinct to reserve and preserve energy during the coldest months by putting us on sleep mode, and by signaling us that we need to pack on extra calories for energy (thus we are unusually hungry as well). It’s a primitive automatism of our physiology. It’s either that, or I’m just rationalizing my being-a-lazy-fat-ass.

And what I do in the bathroom.

Tags: # funny girl

Oh tom, it’s autumn!

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There’s so much shiz going on this November and I am getting all hyped up. I’m up and about doing photo shoots and styling for other photographers, just being on the road with people (seeing both new and old faces). It has only been a month and I feel like I’ve been given all sorts of “busy”, it’s sometimes too good to be true. This is what I like. I like dressing up in the morning, with hardly any sleep, not enough time to prepare for what’s coming next, packing my bag, filling my tumbler with caffeine for the road, enjoying all the sight-seeing, going home tired as fuq, and doing it all over again the next day. It reminds me a lot of 2012. It was the same AUTUMN-y feel. I always make it a point that, I get to be the compass for my team, always pulling them towards forests and open air. I just have that selfish feeling of having the need to feel the autumn breeze, if there was such thing as autumn in the Phil. But who cares man, I want to see dead leaves, and bald trees, and feel the gloom of dying plants… and get wind burns from this chilly season. I love this part of the year. I love it to death.

© kaycee asuncion & ferina albano {photo credits}

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All Souls. All Saints.

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"Nice hair."

"Gee thanks. I grew them myself."

So I went trick or treating with Vanilla and Jojo. I dressed up as Finn. I just wish I had someone who dressed up as Jake the Dog. :(

So I went trick or treating with Vanilla and Jojo. I dressed up as Finn. I just wish I had someone who dressed up as Jake the Dog. :(

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